Another of the classic joke e-mails we all get that we all secretly enjoy….

10 Things you would NEVER hear a Southerner say:

10) “I’ll take Shakespeare for 1000, Alex”

9) Duct tape won’t fix that

8) Come to think of it I’ll have a Heineken

7) Honey, did you mail that donation to Greenpeace?

6) I’ll have grapefruit instead of biscuits and gravy.

5) My fiance, Paula Jo, is registered at Tiffany’s.

4) I’ve got two cases of Zima for the Super Bowl.

3) Hey, here’s an episode of “Hee Haw” that we haven’t seen.

2) I didn’t know that could be fried.

And the #1 thing you’ve never heard a southerner say:

1) Checkmate.

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