Scotts 2 Cents

July 22, 2008

Out of Office Replies

Filed under: Funny Stuff — Scott @
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If you need a laugh , read the Best ‘Out of Office’ Automatic email Replies:

1. I am currently out of the office at a job interview and will reply to you if I fail to get the position. Please be prepared for my mood.
2. You are receiving this automatic notification because I am out of the office. If I was in, chances are you wouldn’t have received anything at all.

3. Sorry to have missed you, but I’m at the doctor’s having my brain and heart removed so I can be promoted to our management team.

4. I will be unable to delete all the emails you send me until I return from vacation. Please be patient, and your mail will be deleted in the order it was received.

5. Thank you for your email. Your credit card has been charged $5.99 for the first 10 words and $1.99 for each additional word in your message.

6. The email server is unable to verify your server connection. Your message has not been delivered. Please restart your computer and try sending again. (The beauty of this is that when you return, you can see who did this over and over and over….)

7. Thank you for your message, which has been added to a queuing system. You are currently in 352nd place, and can expect to receive a reply in approximately 19 weeks.

8. Hi, I’m thinking about what you’ve just sent me. Please wait by your PC for my response.

9. I’ve run away to join a different circus.

10. I will be out of the office for the next two weeks for medical reasons. When I return, please refer to me as ‘Lucille’ instead of Steve.

July 19, 2008

The Bathroom is a Funny Place

Filed under: Funny Stuff — Scott @
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This is completely G rated and very cute.  If you don’t at least smile you have no soul.

Can’t see the video above and I’m pretty sure you can’t because it wasn’t working so I took it out? Here’s a link:
The Bathroom is funny!

June 25, 2008

Awesome Bathroom

Filed under: Uncategorized — Scott @
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BATHROOM PAINTED FLOOR !!!
*IMAGINE YOU ARE AT A PARTY ….

* Tenth floor of a hi-rise building….*

*AND THEN YOU HAVE TO VISIT THE BATHROOM…. *

*You open the door…. **
NOW, REMEMBER,*


*THE FLOOR IS JUST* A PAINTED FLOOR !**

KINDA TAKES YOUR BREATH AWAY…..* *DOESN’T IT?*

Scroll sloooooooowly…..

Painted Bathroom Floor

would this mess up your mind  ???    would you be able to walk in
to this bathroom??? 

Ball Girl Makes the Grab!

Filed under: Random Stuff — Scott @
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I’m pretty sure this is fake but it’s still entertaining.  Enjoy!

Amazing Ball Girl Video

UPDATE – As I suspected, this is in fact fake. It apparently is a Gatorade marketing ploy.

June 18, 2008

Express Ticket to Hell

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A lot of people do a lot of bad things.  And if you believe in Karma maybe it’s OK because what goes around comes around.

Perhaps you believe in hell, perhaps you don’t but I think we’ll all agree, if there is a hell this is a great way to ensure your spot.

Chase turns sour for lemonade stand robber

Police arrest suspect after girl chased him into a nearby home

updated 11:36 a.m. CT, Tues., June. 17, 2008

TERRE HAUTE, Ind. – Call it a lemonade standoff.

A young girl whose lemonade stand was robbed of $17.50 chased the suspect into a nearby home and called police, who spent nearly an hour trying to coax the man into surrendering.

“The guy came up and was, like, ‘Give me your money,’” said Dominique Morefield, who was running the lemonade stand with a group of friends. “I was shocked. It was just my immediate reaction to chase after him.”

 Read complete story

June 17, 2008

Rainbow Tornado

Filed under: Random Stuff — Scott @
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All I can say is WOW!

This was taken in June 2005 in Kansas.

Tornado Rainbow

June 10, 2008

Left lane traffic monitors

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I can’t say it more clearly, nor can the rules of the road.

THE LEFT LANE IS FOR PASSING ONLY!

The left lane does not exist for you to pick what is “fast enough”  as*hole!

If you are not passing another car in the middle lane GET THE HELL OVER and let those of us who want to pass you, do so.  It’s not an ego thing, it’s okay if you get passed by my Prius.  Maybe if you’re lucky you can laugh at me when you see me pulled over a few miles down the road.

GET OUT OF THE LEFT LANE and let others pass!!!  That’s what the left lane is for!

June 9, 2008

It’s good to be PayPal

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I’ll save my rant about auto insurance for another time – how nice is it to sell a product required by law that everyone who drives must buy?!?!??!

Anyway, being PayPal is good.  And eBay being very smart realized this years ago and bought them.  They seem to have absolutely ZERO liability for anything.  I am an eBay Power Seller and have sold 1000′s of items on eBay over the past 14 years (my original username I sold with my eBay consignment business was registered in 1994) and have used PayPal for a vast majority of sales.  And nothing has ever been their fault.  If my account gets hacked, it’s may fault – they take no liability – my money is gone all they say is sorry we tried to recover your funds and could not.  Then if I’m a seller and someone pays me with an account that got hacked that’s somehow my responsibility as well????  I didn’t approve the transaction, I didn’t decide it was a legitimate transaction – PayPal DID but somehow I’m the only who suffers.  I get the money taken back out of my account, I lose again.  It’s unbelievable.  How is the person who approved a transaction not at fault if it was a fraudulent transaction????  Unbelievable.  So someone got free tickets to a Red Wings playoff game and I had to give back (have it forceably removed from my account) the $377.77 I sold them for!!!  ARGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGG!

May 2, 2008

Another good e-mail that we’ve all seen

Filed under: Random Stuff — Scott @
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Good:
A Desoto, MO policeman had a perfect spot to watch for Speeders, but wasn’t getting many.  Then he discovered the problem.
A twelve-year-old boy was standing up the road with a hand-painted sign, which read “RADAR TRAP AHEAD”.
The officer then found a young accomplice down the road with a sign reading “TIPS” . . . And a bucket full of money.
(And we kids used to just sell lemonade!)

 Better:
A motorist was mailed a picture of his car speeding through an automated radar post in St Peters , MO.  A $40 speeding ticket was included.
Being cute, he sent the police department a picture of $40.   The police responded with another mailed photo of handcuffs.

  

 Best:
A young woman was pulled over for speeding.  As the Missouri State Trooper walked to her car window, flipping open his ticket book, she said,  

“I bet you’re going to sell me a ticket to the State Troopers Ball.   He replied “Missouri State Troopers don’t have balls.”
There was a moment of silence while she smiled, and he realized what he’d just said.
He then closed his book, got back in his patrol car and left.
She was laughing too hard to start her car…..

March 24, 2008

Welcome to the Republican Party

Filed under: Current Events,Politics — Scott @
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 You may know I’ve got the page on my blog with all the e-mails we get that we secretly love but pretend to be annoyed by…well this one is so good it gets main page billing!

I absolutely love this one…… AMEN!

*Father/Daughter Talk*
>
>             * A young woman was about to finish her first year of
>             college. Like so many others her age, she considered
>             herself to be a very liberal Democrat, and was very much
>             in favor of ‘the redistribution of wealth.’
>
>             She was deeply ashamed that her father was a rather
>             staunch Republican, a feeling she openly expressed. Based
>             on the lectures that she had participated in, and the oc
>             casional chat with a professor, she felt that her father
>             had for years harbored an evil, selfish desire to keep
>             what he ;  **thought should be his.
>
>             One day she was challenging her father on his opposition
>             to higher taxes on the rich and the addition of more
>             government welfare programs. The self-professed
>             objectivity proclaimed by her professors had to be
>             the truth and she indicated so to her father. He responded
>             by asking how she was doing in school.
>
>             Taken aback, she answered rather haughtily that she had a
>             4.0 GPA, and let him know that it w as tough to maintain,
>             insisting that she was taking a very difficult course load
>             and was constantly studying, which left her no time to go
>             out and party like other people she knew. She didn’t even
>             have time for a boyfriend, and didn’t really have many
>             college friends because she spent all her time studying.
>
>              Her father listened and then asked, ‘How is your friend
>             Audrey doing?’
>
>              She replied, ‘Audrey is barely getting by. All she takes
>             are easy classes, she never studies, and she barely has a
>             2.0 GPA. She is so popular on campus; college for her is a
>             blast. She’s always invited to all the parties, and lots
>             of times she doesn’t even show up for classes
>             because she’s too hung over.’
>
>              Her wise father asked his daughter, ‘Why don’t you go to
>             the Dean’s of fice and ask him to deduct a 1.0 off your
>             GPA and give it to your friend who only has a 2.0. That
>             way you will both have a 3.0 GPA and certainly that
>             would be a fair and equal distribution of GPA.’
>
>              The daughter, visibly shocked by her father’s suggestion,
>             angrily fired back, ‘That wouldn’t be fair! I have worked
>             really hard for my grades! I’ve invested a lot of time,
>             and a lot of hard work! Audrey has done next to nothing
>             toward her degree. She played while I worked my tail off!’
>
>             The father slowly smiled, winked and said gently,’Welcome
>             to the Republican party.’*

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